Re: My stolen Kawasaki

I am ecstatic due to the fact that the SAPS has recovered my stolen bike last week.
I am going to fetch it this coming week and luckily no damage was done to it.

What's up...

First I crash my car, now my bike is stolen.....

New South Africa Sucks !!

My baby has been stolen on Monday morning.  All my hard work and money gone...... I am seriously pissed off.

Livina vs Dog R60 000 later.

I was involved in a crash with a freaking dog that ran in front of my car.

Not even 15000Km on it.

Eish !!! Got my new car

Picked up my new car from the dealer on Friday. Got a surprise when I saw my registration plate...

Today's Babe

Oortjies World

Where's the ball...?

Ah well, I'll look for it tomorrow...

My new baby

It is that time again for me to trade in the old and get the new. After driving my Nissan Micra turbo diezel for 3 years, which I might add was a fantastic experience, I decided to upgrade to the Nissan Livina x-gear +.

It is a cross between the Station wagon and a SUV.

My B-day

Yip, I turned 42 on Friday 16th and had a blast.Braai and karaoke with my best pals till early morning hours..

No Comment....

MALE VS. FEMALE AT THE ATM MACHINE

A new sign in the Bank Lobby reads: 'Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through ATM machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts.

After months of careful research, MALE & FEMALE Procedures have been developed. Please follow the Appropriate steps for your gender.' *******************************

MALE PROCEDURE:
1. Drive up to the cash machine. 2. Put down your car window. 3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN. 4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw. 5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt. 6. Put window up. 7. Drive off.

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FEMALE PROCEDURE: (What is really funny is that most of this part is the Truth.!!!!)
1. Drive up to cash machine. 2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine. 3. Set parking brake, put the window down. 4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card. 5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up. 6. Attempt to insert card into machine. 7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car. 8. Insert card. 9. Re-insert card the right way. 10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page. 11. Enter PIN. 12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN. 13. Enter amount of cash required. 14. Check makeup in rear view mirror. 15. Retrieve cash and receipt. 16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside. 17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of checkbook. 18. Re-check makeup. 19. Drive forward 2 feet. 20. Reverse back to cash machine. 21. Retrieve card. 22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided! 23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you. 24. Restart stalled engine and pull off. 25. Redial person on cell phone. 26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles. 27. Release Parking Brake.

Funny Pic of the day

If you cant find the book ur looking for u are probably at the....

Daily Babe

Philemon Jokes

Philemon: What is the name of your car?
Lady: I forgot the name, but it starts with 'T'.
Philemon: Oh, what a strange car, starts with Tea.
All cars that I know start with petrol.

Philemon joined new job. 1st day he worked till late evening on the computer. Boss was happy and asked what Philemon did till evening. Philemon: Keyboard letters were not in Alphabetical order, so I made it alright.

DVD's recently watched

Step up 1 & 2 -Excellent movies. Loved it.
The Mexican -Nice entertaining movie, not enough action though.
GI Joe-Excellent movie but would be better on big screen.

May u all have a great weekend !

Shark news

Gongrats on the SHARKs for being top of the list (45 points) with WP following with one point difference only. The game this weekend will be a tough one but I believe the SHARKs will take the cup at the end of the day. Bulls -sorry guys but it seems u are not a match for sharkies this year... :-)

The Sharks are at The Absa Stadium Durban for the last time in the pool stages when they host the Xerox Lions on Saturday, but should be back at home in another couple of weeks' time for the knockout round(s). Following last week's defeat of the Platinum Leopards, The Sharks maintained their hold on top spot on the log, but Province have every intention of upsetting that particular apple cart and as matters stand, with just one log point separating the two coastal teams, the final two weeks before the play-offs are going to be huge!
An action-packed day of rugby awaits fans on Saturday and Sharks supporters are urged to come out in their numbers to support not only The Sharks, but also the Under 21 and Under 19 sides as the trio continue their respective quests.

Get to the game!

Arno's Band

Abi loves playing her drums.She has competed in various competitions and played in a couple of shows.

Arno my daughters boyfriend has his own band. I will post more information regarding this up and coming band from Amanzimtoti at a later stage.

Pic of da day

Abigail (My daughter) and Arno (her BF)

Monster Babes

Only in South Africa :-)

Drivers License

A mother is driving her little girl to her friend's house for a play date. ' Mommy ,' the little girl asks, 'how old are you?'

'Honey, you are not supposed to ask a lady her age,' the mother replied. 'It's not polite.'

'OK', the little girl says, 'How much do you weigh?'

'Now really,' the mother says, 'those are personal questions and are really none of your business.'

Undaunted, the little girl asks, 'Why did you and Daddy get a divorce?' 'That's enough questions, young lady! Honestly!' The exasperated mother walks away as the two friends begin to play.

' My Mom won't tell me anything about her,' the little girl says to her friend. 'Well,' says the friend, 'all you need to do is look at her driver's license. It's like a report card, it has everything on it.'

Later that night the little girl says to her mother, 'I know how old you are. You are 32.' The mother is surprised and asks, 'How did you find that out?

'I also know that you weigh 130 pounds.' The mother is past surprised and shocked now. 'How in Heaven's name did you find that out?'

'And,' the little girl says triumphantly, 'I know why you and daddy got a divorce.'

'Oh really?' the mother asks. 'Why?'

'Because you got an F in sex.'

Today's Funny pic

The proper way to take ur mother in law on vacation...?

If you ever feel a little bit stupid...

... just read this; you'll begin to think you're a genius.
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(On September 17, 1994, Alabama's Heather Whitestone was selected as Miss America 1995.)
Question: If you could live forever, would you and why?
Answer: "I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever,"
--Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest.
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"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff."
--Mariah Carey
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"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life,"
-- Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for federal anti-smoking campaign .
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"I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body,"
--Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward.
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"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country,"
--Mayor Marion Barry, Washington , DC . ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
"That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass, and I'm just the one to do it,"
--A congressional candidate in Texas .
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"Half this game is ninety percent mental."
--Philadelphia Phillies manager, Danny Ozark
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"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it."
--Al Gore, Vice President
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"I love California . I practically grew up in Phoenix ."
-- Dan Quayle
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"We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need?"
--Lee Iacocca
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"The word "genius" isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein."
--Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback & sports analyst.
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"We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain types of people."
-- Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instructor.
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"Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we received notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply if there is a change in your circumstances."
--Department of Social Services, Greenville , South Carolina
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"Traditionally, most of Australia 's imports come from overseas."
--Keppel Enderbery
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"If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at night as they go to bed and it will monitor their heart throughout the night. And the next morning, when they wake up dead, there'll be a record."
--Mark S. Fowler, FCC Chairman
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APHORISM:

A SHORT, POINTED SENTENCE EXPRESSING A WISE OR CLEVER OBSERVATION OR A GENERAL TRUTH; ADAGE

1. The nicest thing about the future is that it always starts tomorrow.

2. Money will buy a fine dog, but only kindness will make him wag his tail.

3. If you don't have a sense of humour, you probably don't have any sense at all.

4. Seat belts are not as confining as wheelchairs.

5. A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you're in deep water.

6. How come it takes so little time for a child who is afraid of the dark to become a teenager who wants to stay out all night?

7. Business conventions are important because they demonstrate how many people a company can operate without.

8. Why is it that at class reunions you feel younger than everyone else looks?

9.. Scratch a cat and you will have a permanent job.

10. No one has more driving ambition than the boy who wants to buy a car.

11. There are no new sins; the old ones just get more publicity.

12. There are worse things than getting a call for the wrong number at 4 am - it could be the right number.

13. No one ever says "It's only a game." when their team is winning.

14. I've reached the age where the happy hour is a nap.

15. Be careful reading the fine print. There's no way you're going to like it.

16. The trouble with bucket seats is that not everybody has the same size bucket.

17. Do you realize that in about 40 years, we'll have thousands of old men and old ladies running around with tattoos? (And rap music will be the Golden Oldies ! ) No! Say it isn't so!

18. Money can't buy happiness -- but somehow it's more comfortable to cry in a Porsche than in a Yaris.

19. After 60, if you don't wake up aching in every joint, you are probably dead!

Always be yourself.
Because the people that matter don't mind,
and the ones that mind, don't matter.

Grappie....

Twee Mint Imperials slaan 'n jellytot se oe blou!

Jy sien net suiker spat.

'Hoekom help jy nie?' vra Chappie vir Smartie.

'Is jy simpel?' sê Smartie.

'Daai ouens is Menthol!!

Kidz Update

I had the opportunity to go visit my kids in Toti last week and we had a great time. They grow up so quickly.

My Drakensberg trip

Final Analysis

Oortjies Update

Lazy as ever... she got a new jersey as this winter has been quite cold and now that I have moved to a new house sha has to stay outside during the day. That is another story..the little crap has found a 1001 ways to get through, over and out of the yard to go gallavanting in the streets. I wrote earlier that I thought she was pregnant but it turnrd out to be a fake pregnancy.

Miscalaneous Pics

Jaco and Bianca having a sakkie sakkie..
Mommy giving me some loooove..

Braaing with the family

Me, myself and ? cooking again.

Dino Update

Dino has got a girlfriend...Eventually. He was getting a bit sexually frustrated and that made me dish out a couple of hundred rand to buy a female beardie.

She is not so good looking like him but then again the male species is always better looking than the female....Yah right I suppose that only works in the animal kingdom. You gals happy now!

DVD's I recently watched

Hond se dinges... Yah right what can I say, Vaatjie sien sy gat and Bakgat has been better afrikaans dvd's before this. It is a good movie but not as entertaining as the others.

The Happening..Excellent if you like sci-fi,horror and action combined. A deffinate watch, was worth it.

Disaster Movie... what a disaster ! Yes good entertainment but a bit overboard. Saw some of the other spoof movies and they were much better.

Biker frog

Dino update

It's been a while and I thaught I would update you a bit on Dino's doings the last two months. She has been in her brumation period (sleeping) and just recently woke up. She has grown quite a bit lately and is now eating me out of the house.